TJ’s Story

Dear Friend,

Dave Ramsey’s teachings have changed my life. Even though this story is very personal, I enjoy sharing it in the hopes that it will help someone else get on the path to financial freedom.

As a Christmas present, my husband’s parents bought tickets to Dave Ramsey for us when he had a presentation at the DeltaPlex here in Grand Rapids. I was riveted in my seat and was blown away by the information. But my husband was not; he sat for the whole 8 hours with his arms crossed, his mind was closed, and he was not interested. We were always in debt and always owed money. We were both commission based and so WE were the ones responsible for withholding money for taxes. Which, frankly, we didn’t do. We didn’t know it at the time, but we lived beyond our means. I felt like a sponge when I first heard Dave speak. I was so excited to have some direction to our chaos and to start getting out of the hole that we fell so quickly into. But my husband didn’t like the idea of someone telling him what he should be doing with his money, whether that was his wife or some guy at a presentation.

Nothing happened, nothing changed. Months went by, it was then in August of 2008 that my husband came home one day and told me that he was leaving me. He walked out on me that day and my world shattered. Between the tears and the grief, I leaned even more into my faith but was just lost on what to do. My husband was the one who handled the finances, paid the mortgages, paid the bills and now he was gone. I was petrified. I had to go through losing both my home and cottage by means of a short sale and the heartache of that added to the mess of going through a divorce.

But then a glimmer of hope struck, with him not around. He couldn’t say no to working Dave Ramsey’s baby steps. I would have to start learning about money and how to manage it.

So, I enrolled with a friend in a local FPU (Financial Peace University) class immediately. From that moment on, I looked forward to going to the class and learning more and working through the lessons. It was during this process that I started to come to terms with what was happening in my life and that I could get through this with my faith and the baby steps that Dave teaches. It was then that I realized that I had to learn to crawl again before I could walk. It is exactly as Dave said in his presentation: “Your grandparents could have taught/told you this, but instead you had to pay $30 to listen to it from someone else.” I remember laughing at this joke when he said it, but then realized that neither my grandparents nor my parents ever discussed money with me. It was up to me to learn and for me to change my family tree.

Everyone goes through dark times in their life. But I feel that those moments are necessary so that you can appreciate the other times, the “good” times. These moments may even become pivoting points in your life where you can change the path that you are on. That is how I chose to look at it. Divorce and the short sale process are horrible and now that I have gone through them, it has allowed me to connect and understand what a lot of my clients have gone through or are currently going through. Even Dave Ramsey’s teachings and now my belief of how people should budget comes across to my clients. My lessons have not only made me a better person but a better realtor. I am now able to teach my clients a whole new way!

On that day in August 2008, I changed my path. I remember sobbing on the couch, my chest heaving in pain and anguish, overwhelmed by not knowing how I was going to make it another day. The world was a dark place. It is hard to imagine that years have already passed. I used the envelope system for a couple of years until I had formed a new habit and was comfortable controlling my money. I even kept some of the envelopes that I used and saved them in my “keepsakes”; as a way for me to remember the struggle, perseverance, and growth that I have achieved and that I know that others are still going through.

I bought my first home as a single woman; it was a complete rehab project and I filled envelopes with cash to budget the remodeling projects and fixes. If the money wasn’t in the envelope. I wouldn’t do the work. The biggest compliment I ever received was when my father came to visit to see the progress. He said, “It’s just a shame.” I asked him, “What was?” He then replied, “Well, now you have to pay off all those credit cards.” I responded, “What credit cards?” He said, “The ones you used to fix up the house.” I replied, “I didn't use any credit cards, Dad, I paid cash.” He didn’t even know what to say, he was shocked. In his world, he didn’t even understand how you could do that.

Years have now passed, I am tithing and investing and now I am building wealth. I am remarried and have a husband who is united with me on this front. We have 2 daughters, and I can say that we have changed our family tree!!! And are excited about our continued journey.

Dave’s teachings have given me so much. I graduated from Financial Peace University in 2009 and have now taught the class two times. It is my way to show gratitude. I love relaying the message and guiding others through the process of where I was only a short time ago.

Everyone’s moment is different. The moment of hitting bottom, per se, where you DECIDE you have to change. For me, it was my first husband walking out on me, I didn’t have a choice. I no longer had a reason holding me back from doing what I wanted to do.

What is your moment?

Tammy Jo “TJ”
2009